Pretty Ponderings

2012-02-06T23:22:00.005-06:00

i'm always on the lookout for a doppelganger for myself, never having been able to find one. was listening to meryl streep on fresh air, and she was saying how she was never "cute" when she was young, so making the transition from hot cute young actress to ... well, older, actress, was a little easier for her.
obv, she is/was beautiful.
but i get what she means, because i don't think i ever have been cute either.
so i got to thinking about what actresses fell into this category-attractive/womanly/not "cute" and Anjelica Huston came to mind. this photo almost perfectly represents my hair when it is driving me crazy.
anjelica huston is gorge, but you can see how she probably wasn't the cute blonde popular girl in 3rd grade.
maybe she was, who knows.
not sure where i was going with this.
ok, so i don't look anything like anjelica huston, but i just found it all sort of comforting. cuz i feel so much pressure to avoid age, to prevent it from happening. god, what an awful thing to have to worry about-something that is inevitable and you have absolutely no control over.

good night :)

on fear

2012-01-30T16:24:00.003-06:00

i don't think of myself as a generally fearful person.
but sometimes, i surprise myself.

you'd think, after whining about various miseries that it would not be so hard to do some relatively painless things, requiring mere points and clicks, that might have a shot of improving my life, but when it comes down to the wire, to the moment where i hit "send"-i'm frozen.

thoughts creep in about ways my life might actually get worse if i try to make changes. "you thought it was bad now, you ungrateful thing-just imagine if XYZ happened! you'd be sorry then!!!"

and so on.

this is when i often reach for a cookie.

but today, i took a deep breath, and stuffed lots of positive things in my head and pushed the big scary things out. i hope i can keep it up.

2012-01-19T21:00:00.003-06:00

the deep freeze that's taken over the state in the past day or so has inspired something in me that is desperate to find something that will light a fire within me.
style-wise, of course :)

after months and months (years?) of just not feeling excited about trends or fashion at all, something that I used to enjoy a lot, I'm sssttttaaaaarrrrting to come around. some random thoughts:

-shoes make a difference. outfits that could veer toward frumpy are made newly kicky with little cute ankle boots, for instance.
-i am poor. getting a couple pieces to update my wardrobe sets me back. a lot. i feel like i need to start saving for autumn clothes now.
-winter is a hard time to dress oneself anyhow. it's hard to feel cute when you're all layered and lumpy and there's no sun and your hair is static-y, and your nose is red and sniffly.
-i dumped my entire closet and drawers out onto my bed and i actually don't have that much stuff. so maybe it's ok if i indulge whenever the mood does eventually strike.

I found some inspiration on some norwegian and french blogs. they seem to be really into pared down, uniform-style dressing, which i am in to. i don't want to have to think so hard, i just want everything to work and make me feel good.

in semi-related news, bloomingdales at MOA is closing, and rumor has it that topshop or zara will be moving in, to which I say, it won't happen soon enough. Minneapolis has just totally dismal options for shopping-there's mall/chain store bullshit with wonky poorly sewn hems, or there's glitzy boutiques with labels catering to cougars. or there's the stuff that caters to the crafty girls who ride bikes and wear knit hats they made. a mid-price euro clothier is just what the market (ie ME) needs!!!

2012-01-16T15:37:00.002-06:00

at home today, trying to be productive. i had a small moment after breakfast where I panicked and wondered if i should be going to work, but then i decided to take the time to get some things done that i had been putting off so i could feel like i'm making some kind of progress/effort in my life.

it's actually really nice when the sun is streaming in, the cat is napping, and everything is quiet. i can concentrate better without being distracted by email and phone calls. i think this is the problem i have at work-the constant bombardment of emails flashing at me with people who want things from me RIGHT NOW and having to be always sidetracked and coerced into figuring out these little dramas on the sides that take away from doing anything at all.

(i do realize that writing this little post is not being productive, but i'm taking a break, OK??!?)

anyway, the point i was getting around to making is that i think if for some reason i had to work from home, that i would mostly enjoy it. when i actually have things to occupy me, it's not so bad being here all day alone.

scent in the mail

2012-01-11T19:58:00.002-06:00

well, it's the dead of winter, the time when i traditionally turn to the niche (is that the word i'm looking for?) world of perfume to entertain me and bring a little life into the grey, cold, lifeless world outside.
I ordered myself a little package of samples to amuse myself, and the first one I was excited to try was Guerlain's Mitsouko. This is the one ALL the blogs rave about, the "desert island" scent, the Mona Lisa, created in 1919 and *still* in production. If something as subject to trends and whims as perfume is, the fact that it can still be found at your local department store (well, Saks or Neiman Marcus anyhow), 100 years later, is saying something.

But I just. don't. get it.

I'm sorry, it smells like potpourri...spicy, dry, and very very old fashioned. I'm not against "classic" but dusty and old...not so much. I feel like it's sacrilege to say I don't like it, so I'll say that my nose is not trained enough right now to appreciate it. I am disappointed. I read all about these dazzling peach notes and I don't get them at all. I was expecting the Holy Grail.

I'll keep trying.

funny lines from perfume reviews

2012-01-03T21:53:00.002-06:00

"It makes me feel like I've been casted in some artsy film role as a nude model covered in honey." mmmkay. and it's "cast" not "casted."

"The woman who wears this promises a lot." - huh? what does that mean?

"it started nice and 'orange-y' then after about an hour it was too heavy and musky. The orange smell was gone and the odor left behind was something like a hot, sweaty ox. Not for me" i wonder who sweaty ox is for, if not for you, dear reviewer.

"Hmm. Soft, powdery florals and the slightly sweaty inside of a man's thigh, near his unmentionables. Not horrible; actually, it's pretty sexy. I'd be afraid to wear it in public, though, hehehe. " hehe.

On opposing views of the same scent:
"Haunting as the wind from an angel's wings. When I smell this it is like gazing at the Sphinx---mysterious,holy,awesome and unknown."
"this smells like a musty, moldy old Moroccan tent that hasn't been aired out in ages"

and lastly, a this-has-to-be-fake review:

1st time i checked this out was at barneys and i fuggin loved it . i couldnt stop smellin it and kept tellin all me friends bout it . honestly and this mite sound strange but it kinda reminds me of the skunkor action figure from heman like back in tha 80s . skunkor was a skunk and his figures special ability was it "smelled" tho it didnt smell bad like a skunk , it smelled sorta like this . dark , cold, rich but not in a chocolaty or sugary way , musky . this shet will linger on ur skin for 2 days even after shower and will stay on ur clothes for over a week . ive decided i dont like this enough to buy it cos its very strong and the drydown is too musky and old but debonair men

Rating:

dirtyboy -fry cook at mickyd's from chicago

i'm not an overachiever

2012-01-03T19:26:00.001-06:00

i just keep thinking of things i want to improve.

New year's resolutions for 2012

heart/soul:

build better relationships. Send birthday cards by mail, and see a friend at least once a month.

Travel somewhere out of minnesota at least once this year.

health/body:

go to yoga

start running again in the spring.

Drink tea every day

eat more fruit/veggies (as in, daily)

head/mind:

read a damn book already

read new yorker once a week

financial:

finish paying off credit card, then devote 10% of income to savings

save 3 month's worth of income ($5400) - this will prob. not happen in 2012 but once can dream.

hearth:

get a rug to make living room cozier

get longer curtains for bedroom

entertain more

looking backwards

2012-01-01T15:53:00.003-06:00

I don't generally really like looking back on the past, i tend to want to be done with things once they're over. But I suppose that it's a good thing to do once in a while. So, let's see what 2011 brought:

about a year ago-an introductory meeting with a life coach, after which i realized that really no one can tell me what to do with my life because i don't trust anyone else's opinions anyway. also realized that what I was possibly really looking for was just a kind ear to listen to me.

february: a floral design class that was super fun. that seems SO long ago...

early spring: went to my mom's swearing in ceremony. went and saw my favorite movie (Charade) by myself at the Trylon (this is only important because i don't think i'd ever seen a move by myself before. i didn't really like it)

late spring: moved to a new apartment. BIG. DEAL. went on a boat ride on the mississippi during the northern sparks festival.

summer: did some running/jogging, helped my brother move during a rainstorm, made blueberry pie

late summer: went to ana & tom's engagement party, went kayaking on the chain of lakes, did a little bit of bike riding

fall: went to alarica's wedding, had an awful birthday (2012 will be better!), visited mom in the hospital, started piano lessons

late fall/early winter: saw andrew bird, did the holiday thing.

some ups and downs this year. but i did have a nice new year's. for once :)
some goals this year include getting out of town at least once, making my apartment more cozy, seeing friends more often (and being a better friend), cooking at home more, and reading more. happy new year!

merry happy tidings

2011-12-23T15:58:00.003-06:00

it's almost christmas and I am ready.

i'm not really ready, in the sense that there's a box of unpacked ornaments in my living room, and i haven't done 90% of my shopping, but i'm emotionally ready.

by which i mean i'm exhausted and ready for a few days without obligations or stress or dealing with people. excepting the obligations of shopping and relatives, of course.

it's funny-this week in particular my brain has just shut. down. i think it got to the point where i was cramming so many "must do this" and "don't forget this" and "check this" and "how will i squeeze this in?" that my brain sort of just decided to take vacation early. i have felt just mentally checked out the past few days and am really looking forward to unwinding and refueling and being able to think straight again soon.

***

2011-12-13T17:19:00.001-06:00

so sometimes people say things like, if you want it, you have to ask the universe for it, or something like that.

So i'm asking,

universe? please give me a job.

a job where i use my talents, where i provide a needed service, where i am paid enough to live comfortably, and where i am surrounded by like-minded people.

thanks in advance.

2011-12-11T23:44:00.002-06:00

my cat is running around my house acting crazy. what is going on?? and he is hungry ALL the time!!?

12/3/2009 9:44:26 PM

Compose | Reply | Report Abuse | Back

okay, so i am worried about my cat. he runs down the hall and into rooms as fast as he can, he will hide behind doors and then run back out and jump on the couch. his heart races so fast when he does this. he only calms down when i hold him but when i let go, he is at it again. he is hungry ALL the time so i was thinking maybe worms... but i dont think worms make cats run and spazz out... so idk what is going on with him. he is 11 years old but he is acting like a kitten! idk what to do!? please help :) thanks i am so worried about him!

Answers:

12/3/2009 9:47:32 PM

Reply | Report Abuse i had the same problem with my cat and one day he was running fast across the living room and jumped towards the wall and knocked himself out. i got so worried and went and looked at him but after like 7min. he started acting like normal and since than he hasnt done that. maybe your cat needs to do that. hope this helps.

2011-12-11T23:42:00.000-06:00

Question: Why do cats sometimes act so crazy?

Why do all cats, doesn't matter the breeds, all of a sudden out of nowhere run across a room, meowing like a nut, 50 miles an hour, meowing or crying again and again, darting faster and looking around all over the place then stopping?

I have to get hysterical with laughter when they all do that! I just never know when it will happen and do all cats do it?

Answer: The actions you are describing are sometimes referred to as the "night crazies," if they happen at night. My family generally calls it "going ballistic." Sometimes one of my cats will add another action to the mixture, by racing up to a corner of the room and then stopping and staring at an invisible point somewhere up on the wall.

2011-10-26T00:47:00.000-05:00

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
― Ira Glass

right about this time

2011-10-25T12:49:00.006-05:00

of year i get the itch to be a gypsy. you know...

drink wine,
have campfires,
take hikes and feel leaves crunching under my boots,
wrap gigantic scarves around myself,
hang tapestries over the windows,
kiss boys,
and just generally be kind of cozy and disheveled, if that makes any sense.

i'm thinking...

and also:

:)

(images: top, kate moss, sorry source is unknown, bottom, johnny depp in a still from "chocolat")

2011-10-03T23:29:00.000-05:00

sometimes, when you're feeling low, you have to be thankful you are not smashed between two slices of bread making a sandwich for somebody.

2011-10-03T22:46:00.002-05:00

you will be mine. one of you.

i have this problem where i feel the need to buy shoes that i like in multiples of black and brown. i have eerily similar pairs of black and brown flats, boots, sandals, heels, you name it. I even have the same pair of asics sneakers in black and in white (brown tennis shoes are not cute). i think it's because i rarely buy shoes (they are pricey) so when i find some that are classic enough and will last a long time, i stock up in both colors.
which might need to happen here, don't you think? my only hesitation is the suede, which is not snow-friendly.
close second place (already have a similar pair in black= +1 point; still suede= -1 point):

2011-09-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

i demand a refund on this birthday, or at least an exchange. gah, what a soap opera.

2011-09-21T22:08:00.003-05:00

ugh, what a day. i had two small windows of light: running while the sun peeked out this morning, and a brief outing with baby at barbette during happy hour.

unfortunately, the rest pretty much sucked. my mom's surgery did not go as planned. it went quite a bit longer, because they discovered that her liver was pretty badly deteriorated, and they wouldn't be able to patch her up so easily.

i learned this at dinner with my dad and brothers and amber. after which i ask, what caused this? and my dad says, well it's the hepatitis C.

umm...what?

yes, he says, didn't you know? she got it during a blood transfusion when she was going through labor with tommy. i look over at tommy, who shrugs. my dad continues, so tommy has it too. tommy shrugs again.

oooook.

at this point my dad wants to open presents, but i feel like puking. so i go to the restaurant bathroom and throw up. we have dinner (well, i don't, but they do) and i go home and puke some more.

I'm not really sure why i was throwing up so much. i have been eating a LOT lately. it's weird-i'm full but continue to just STUFF myself. this has been happening the last few days, and i don't know if it's stress or what? can i exchange my birthday for a different day? one where i can eat cake and my mom is there? it was so depressing to open the card from her, and not have her there.

:(

2011-09-12T21:38:00.001-05:00

Brooks - Dream from The Great Society on Vimeo.

two cat sightings this morning: one black cat with a red collar who was not interested in chatting, and a grey and white cow cat hanging out in the garden-she was nice, but i had to run...

done!!!

2011-09-04T12:14:00.002-05:00

today i officially (well, officially according to who?) graduated the c25k program, and my run this morning actually went extremely well.
It was FREEZING out, but i warmed up eventually. and I didn't get *any* sideache at all, until the last three minutes, when i was pushing it into high gear to finish. but for the most part, i felt pretty comfortable-not sort of dying-as i went around the lake. i'm still not the fastest, but that's ok for now i guess.
i think my next goal will be lake calhoun-this summer i've stuck to lake of the isles, which is 2.86, but calhoun is a full 3 miles, so a better way of calibrating how i'll do in my 5k race. i would just run around my neighborhood, except that there's this huge hill on franklin that's unavoidable, and i'm still kind of a wimp.
anyway, after that wretched run on wednesday, i feel way better about where i'm at. i have a schedule for working up to a 10k, but i'm not sure how far into winter i'll be willing to run. i might have to take a break come November/December...

at least i'm not alone.

2011-09-01T09:34:00.002-05:00

(from the internet)

My cat knocks things off tables and breaks them. Deliberately. What on earth can I do? Last night he knocked a candle (in a glass holder) off an end table. At 5 am. He seems to have a knack for glass. It's deliberate, too, because I've seen him do it. He's so funny when he does it, he sort of looks at me, and then takes his little paw and WHAP, off goes the glass or the beer bottle or whatever. I mean, it's funny, but it always creates a big mess. I really think he's doing it just for the big noise and big reaction it makes. He's mostly fond of knocking off glasses that I leave on end tables or coffee tables .... which I have subsequently stopped doing. Mostly. He only does it every now and then, so it's not a huge issue, but the waking me up at 5 am thing is really a bit far. Anybody else got a problem cat that does this?

WHY THE HELL DOES MY CAT KNOCK EVERYTHING OFF MY DESK?

They are brothers and they have 600$ worth the toys and cat furniture!!.
why do they get on my desk and push everything off.. they dont play with it all all.. they just clear off the desk.. the hutch.. the shelves.. eveyrthing onto the floor and then they leave. UGH!!!! im gonna KILL THEM!. its so FRUSTRATING>!

umm...

2011-08-31T14:22:00.002-05:00

I really like this song. so sue me.

Ran today and for the first time I had to stop. Wait, let me back up.
I haven't had to stop to walk throughout this whole ordeal, and I'm scheduled to finish the program on Sunday. So today was a 30min run, sandwiched between some warm up and cool down walking. I was feeling ok until it was time to run and then almost immediately had pretty bad sideaches. I tried running through it, honestly, but it got worse and worse until i thought i'd double-over if i didn't stop. so i walked for a bit. and then it started to rain. harder and harder. just great. i was able to run a little toward the end, but all in all, it was frustrating. I also had stomach cramps, which i've never had before.
i'm trying not to get down about it, and hopefully friday will be better!

give me a job.

2011-08-19T22:34:00.001-05:00

please. i am not picky right now.

Peter Sagal on having a personal trainer

2011-08-08T11:52:00.000-05:00

We amateur athletes are peculiarly devoted to our fitness, and our obsessions can sometimes be a burden to our loved ones and a mystery to everyone else. It is a blessing to have, not all the time but for about an hour a week, someone who will say, "Yes, I understand. You devote hours and hours to competing in races you'll never win, you want to build up muscles that your office job will never require, you want to throw yourself against walls just to see how far you can bounce. I get it, and I'll help you."

-host of Wait Wait and marathoner

cat update

2011-08-04T21:04:00.000-05:00

have seen NO CATS on any runs since the last post. today, however, on my little walk to the bank, i passed a friendly-looking orange cat hanging out on someone's front steps, so i stopped for a mini-petting session. it was a great cat, but i had places to go.

wow, this is my life, haha.

I AM GOING TO SLEEP TONIGHT

2011-08-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

if it kills me.

i have such a funny job

2011-07-28T23:12:00.002-05:00

I have worked at my current place of employment long enough that i don't really get phased by much anymore, and don't really think of things as odd until people from the outside are around to expose the weirdness.

today, for example, my boss says, "when the photographers come, will you just have them come upstairs? i'll be putting on makeup."

now, for those of you that don't know: my boss is male. and the "upstairs" is commonly referred to as the "boudoir".

so the photographers arrive, both straight guys, and i tell them he's waiting up in the boudoir for them. ha.

so i go backstage to where the microwave is to heat up my lunch and come back out (i have to cross the stage to get back to my office) and boss is center stage, in full makeup and wig and sparkly outfit, posing. he sees me and calls out "hey lolo?" (his pet name for me, or just his name, i don't know) "can you remind me to give these guys that dvd?" no problem.

2011-07-27T12:21:00.002-05:00

another sleepless night...tossed and turned for an hour and a half in the dark before finally getting some shut eye, only to be awoken at 3am with a thunderstorm.

Why, God, why?!?!?

It's making me miserable most days. and the longer it continues, the more i crave SLEEP. i haven't felt like taking naps in years, but the past few weeks, it's never far from my thoughts. sigh. it's rough just getting through the workday, let alone having energy to exercise. this morning i came back from my run, ate some breakfast, and it was time to get dressed and get ready for work. instead, i collapsed on my bed and it felt so delicious!!! sigh.

i've decided to start keeping a cat sighting diary for my runs, just because i think it's funny. We'll start with Sunday, because that's when I got the idea.

Date: Sunday, 7/24. mid morning
# of cats sighted: 2
Description: seemingly related - both white with grey spots.
Activity: one was hanging out in the middle of the sidewalk and asked to be petted, sitting upright. the other was watching from the bushes a few houses down.

Date: Wednesday, 7/27. 8am-ish.
# of cats sighted: 1
Description: Nico-like. black, fluffy. possibly long-haired. large.
Activity: stalking something in grass that looked like it hadn't been mowed in a month. i suppose this is advantageous for creeping up on things.

stay tuned for more! i know you're excited!

colors of the wind

2011-07-25T19:48:00.002-05:00

how's that for a cheesey title? ;) anyway, i'm referring to my tendency to go through phases. phases where i take on expensive hobbies that I proceed to spend tons of money on, master, and then get bored with and toss aside, after varying amounts of time. allow me to illustrate:

-jewelry making
-crochet
-sewing
-painting
-floral design (actually this was my mom's money)

actually, i wouldn't mind doing more floral design if it were cheaper to engage in. but we're dealing with fresh product here, and it's not exactly something you can mess around with. flowers expire. and that's why they're expensive. still...

my current phase is cooking. I've just finished Molly Wizenberg's "A Handmade Life" and devoured it (pun intended). In fact, I just made a salad from it. She makes you fall in love with food all over again, and her own stories about love are so swoon-worthy I kind of hate reading them. I get overcome with jealousy-that's how romantic her life has been.

But maybe that's what happens when you throw caution to the wind, give up dreams that don't fit any more, and start over from scratch. maybe it makes you a little more fearless, and a little more open to possibilities.

change is scary. molly talks about calling her mom at the beginning of every semester in tears, and having her mom remind her that this happens every time school starts, that she will get used to the change, and it'll be fine. i was always the SAME WAY. I remember calling my mom on the third day in to my study abroad in florence, crying about how miserable i was. I must have been insane. but she listened to me anyway.

what i'm trying to get to here is that there are these cycles in my life, where i become interested in something, and then for whatever reason, don't seriously pursue it. mostly they are financial reasons, and maybe i do really get bored, but maybe i'm just afraid of putting myself out there. maybe i'm still afraid of change, afraid of failure.

for the past few years i've been telling myself that i'm an arts *appreciator*, but not such an *artist* after all. i've been telling myself that it's ok to have an office job, because i'm still supporting the arts in an organizational way, a way that many artists struggle with and i happen to be good at. and maybe that's true. partly. but i don't know if that's the end of the story. i'm feeling restless, and i think it's because i'm not really creating. i don't feel physically involved, which is something that these phases i go through all include-a physicality, a handwork, tools, materials. i try to keep active, and that helps, but running is not really expressive (to me, yet). but i miss having a product, something to show for. i busted my butt making food for the volunteers last week and it was the most rewarding experience i've had all year. people can tell thank you for organizing an event, and that's fine, but when they marvel over your blueberry pie, well, it's something else. i kind of felt over the moon.

what does it all mean? i suppose that's a life question, something that shouldn't be settled, ever. that doesn't mean i'm not always on the quest.

last night

2011-07-14T12:42:00.002-05:00

So around 1:46 (ok, AT 1:46) I awoke with a start to the sound of screeeeeching wheels and then BAM. The sound of car smashing. I know, because I've smashed cars before. It's not a sound you forget. My bedroom doesn't even face the street, to give you an idea of how loud this sound was that woke me out of DEEP slumber. It really kind of shook me up, and there was just silence after that, and I thought to myself, fuck-what if someone is hurt or just lying there or I wonder if I should call the cops???
So I turned on the light, grabbed my phone, put on some pants and shoes, and went downstairs. I got outside, and the street was DEAD. Had no one else heard this? And suddenly it occurred to me that this might not have been the best thing to do, and bad men might be lurking around the corner ready to snatch me. So I went down the steps, looked around, but didn't go any further. I suddenly felt overcome with fear and decided not to go wandering around to see what had happened. It was so eerily quiet and 2 in the morning, after all. I heard some shouting and this woman starting walking down the block, talking to me I guess about how she was looking to see if any cars got hit on this street. She said the person had run into the stop sign but no one was hurt. Good enough for me, and I went back inside and tried to relax.
This morning, I went around the block to look for evidence, and there it was, the stop sign face down, smashed into the grass.
What is with this town!??!

2011-07-05T22:36:00.001-05:00

can we all boycott the new google calendar? it's so awful! why would they make it so that you can't see more than one event on a given day? at least they let you revert to the old version. gah.

2011-06-27T09:50:00.003-05:00

annoying how vintage stores, more often than not, are closed mondays. the exception being, thankfully, LULA! for the monday reason alone, it is probably my most-visited vintage store. vintage shopping takes a little time. going on weekends to dig through piles of clothes is not ideal, and there's usually only one dressing room, and the clothes require trying on because the fit is always a toss-up. so shopping on mondays when no one else is around is super. i know this is really fascinating.

2011-06-13T14:50:00.001-05:00

whenever i feel like no one's on my side, i read this email I got last week and grin:

We love working down at the Ritz and really enjoy the time we get to spend with you and everyone else down there.
I hope your new apartment is working out well for you and that Life is treating you well; if it is not just tell Me who I have to "talk" to and I will happily break both their legs.

I love my volunteers.

2011-05-31T10:59:00.003-05:00

There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate,
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

-excerpt from T.S. Eliot poem

2011-04-11T20:22:00.003-05:00

how is it possible to have a headache and sore throat for 36 STRAIGHT HOURS?!?

I even wake up at 4 am because my body is reminding me that the tylenol has worn off and i need more.

did get some time today to do some thinking.
like about art, and how everything's been done, which makes it all the more critical, when you're just rehashing old ideas, to do things extremely well and with a unique point of view.
these days, there's no room for people doing kinda shitty work and getting by because it's a new idea and innovative or whatever. so the dancers need to be strong, the colors need to be perfect, and the presentation exquisite.
and you have to come at it from a unique angle, from a place that people can get but in a way that only you can express. this is a problem with 90% of the modern dance I see-people don't have developed senses of who they are, except for in reference to others. everything is "inspired by". and the technique is just not that great. i'm sorry people, but buck up and get your butt to ballet class. no, it's probably not as "fun" as your modern class where you get to do somersaults and smack into each other, but it's the only way to inform you on how to move. i wish there were some way around it, but there's not. to look beautiful moving naturally, you need to know how to look beautiful doing totally unnatural things. you need to explore those painful movements and conquer them gracefully.
until then i'm not paying $30 to see you barefoot on stage :)

no, but in reality i appreciate that we're such a supportive community for people. but new york it ain't. we could stop being minnesota nice and push people a little harder. not lirena harder-lirena gave me a complex that i'll probably never grow out of-but give people the ability to be bilingual in dance-comfortable in a variety of movement. it's like liberal arts-your experiences in a variety of methods only enriches you.

I LOVE PRAISE

2011-03-30T15:02:00.001-05:00

"Also, I have to say that things have run really smooth on your end. The box office staff has been great and very accommodating.

So thank you for that. It’s not something I take for granted."

-today from Managing Director of a certain respected local arts organization

MAKES ME SO HAPPY

2011-03-23T12:59:00.001-05:00

Yeah, ok everyone is posting about elizabeth taylor today, but really, she is probably the most gorgeous girl that ever lived. marilyn doesn't even touch the fiesty, sensual beauty that is liz, imo.

2011-03-08T15:41:00.002-06:00

today is international women's day. in florence, this was a big deal-they threw parties at bars for the ladies, etc. - but here, not so much. barely a peep. planned parenthood is hyping it to get their politics across, but that's about it! :/

the crush of technology

2011-03-04T14:16:00.002-06:00

So, I have become addicted to Google calendars.

I admit it.

I now have EVERYTHING scheduled to the nth degree, and am LOVING it.

I have "change Brita water filter" programmed in to appear every 90 days.
I have my haircuts scheduled every 10 weeks, and coloring every other appointment.
I have holidays, birthdays, paydays, work schedules, appointments, yoga classes.
And it's great-I can reference when I last did something, I know that I don't have to worry that I'll forget it again because I can set up automatic repeats...it's like having a regular planner but I can drag and drop tasks and events without crossing things out, rewriting, etc.

Except, that this poses a slight problem. With my paper planner, I could (and often did) take it everywhere I went, and could pencil things in while chatting with someone, or whatever. Now I have to wait until I'm at a computer, and I can't answer questions about when something is or when I'm available unless I'm at said computer.

This bugs me.

"What are you doing Saturday?" you ask. I don't know. Really. I don't have an iPhone.
I realize it sounds sorta lame that I can't remember all this stuff on my own, and I can remember a few things, but not everything. I'd rather have access to it all the time.

So...do I break down and join the masses? Ugh.

it must be friday...

2011-01-21T13:52:00.002-06:00

because I am giddy having conversations on open threads on perfume blogs. wow, what a nerd.

2011-01-20T10:05:00.003-06:00

finally got my little package yesterday and opened it gleefully. it was as expected, the stuff i ordered was in there, but i also got some free samples. I had made some sample requests, two of which were in there, but then there was this tiny vial labeled "knize 10 by knize." what the hell is that? i think to myself. knize??? sounds like sneeze!
so before opening it i do a little research and on the scale from most feminine to most masculine it is listed...at the very most masculine end. "THE reference leather scent." feeling kind of disappointed ("why the hell did they send me a man's scent???") i dejectedly open it to see how terrible it is.
and it's not terrible.
in fact, it's a little intriguing.
there are some bits that seem to reference one of the bottles i'd ordered, but set off in a different way. and it's really unlike any man's scent i'd sniffed before. part of me is thinking, "how can i secretly get adri to wear this?" and the other part of me is thinking, "what if i want it for me?"
in the end, i feel grateful to the geniuses over at luckyscent for sending along something i never would have found on my own, something that feels totally secret and old (created in 1925 in Hapsburg Vienna), and makes me think more openly about what men and women can/should wear.

2011-01-19T13:40:00.002-06:00

Shipping Information

To:: MINNEAPOLIS, MN, US

Delivered On:: Wednesday, 01/19/2011 at 12:37 P.M.

Left At:: Front Door

GAAAAAAH

2011-01-18T20:31:00.004-06:00

i feel...

impatient-waiting for my perfume order to arrive!!! gaaaah. i mean, i've been wearing the balenciaga i bought myself after christmas, and it's been great and all, but there's nothing quite like knowing there's a package coming your way. not that i'm compulsively checking the UPS tracking on that shit or anything.

anxious-feeling like i have a mountain of work at work, and not being able to focus so that I can actually *finish* something

missing something-had lunch with our ad rep Kaila today and realized how much I MISS girl lunches, chatting about sandra bullock's bangs, hopes and dreams, terrible roommate stories, just generally laughing about life. i need some more non-work friends, people! people who are connected and can get me a new apartment, new job, new life, etc. Because it's all about me! jk. :)

hopeful-my classes at K&D have been going OK. It's something that I enjoy and am not immediately a genius at, which is probably good for me. The time FLIES, the teacher is hilarious (to me, anyway), the other girls (er, women) are nice, and it gives me the feeling that "hey, i could actually do this."

guilty/antsy-have been kinda bad about exercising this month, but I do have to say that it's a hell of a lot harder when i have a class at night three days a week, and i don't have any performances, meaning i don't have random mornings off that i can use to sleep in, exercise, shower, and ramble in to work at noon. have to say, this sucks. woke up this morning feeling like my limbs were GLUED to the mattress. i'm not a morning person-I *want* to be but sometimes I wonder, "why fight it?"

and then i think, but i'm not a night person either! haha

dreaming of spring

2011-01-16T20:34:00.006-06:00

man, how sad is it that i am already excited for spring clothes?
i can't help it-they're just so much...better.
nautical stripes, cropped sleeves, bright colors, cute prints, showing your collarbone-they just look better on a person than layer after layer of dreary, heavy greys. yeah, it's january. moving on:
a flattering, perfect, slightly flouncy silk dress in a juicy orange-red with delicate pale gray trim. ideal with a mojito in hand.
or, this little striped sweater, which doesn't look like much from the front:but has a cute back:
and when you see it on, you fall deeply in love (the sunset doesn't help):
of course there's lots of other little things that wouldn't make sense in january. a tiny blue blazer with one big button to fasten (cute with a striped top...hmm...)

a fitted white blouse with interesting details (the open neck would set off a necklace so beautifully! no one notices jewelry in the winter, buried beneath scarves and hoods)
and just overall fluffy things that you can throw on over jeans and a tan and just feel charming

(wouldn't this look cute with a yellow bag??? the answer is YES!)

:)

want.

2010-12-24T08:49:00.002-06:00

from here.

Plans this weekend

2010-12-17T12:57:00.003-06:00

include:
baking cookies
perusing travel guides for the perfect winter getaway
burning my Neroli Orange Blossom candle
being not stressed out!
possibly buying myself some perfume or possibly buying xmas presents

can't wait.

All I want for christmas

2010-12-08T11:03:00.003-06:00

is this film.

I only have bits and pieces on VHS from when it aired on TV when it was originally released, in 1995. It's probably the defining documentary for me on ballet-showing *all* aspects of the working dancer-rehearsing, performing, class, hanging out, touring...growing up, i loved this tape more than any other. The dancers featured here are some of the greats in their prime-Americans like Susan Jaffe and Amanda McKerrow, rehearsing with aging choreographers in the studio and performing in what looks like an ancient Greek stage. I can't find it anywhere, except directly from the director's website.
I should just buy it, what am I waiting for?

2010-11-19T10:38:00.000-06:00

WANT. (still). perfectly blue high-waist denim trousers (which is a fancy way to say flared jeans)

2010-11-19T10:33:00.000-06:00

YUM

2010-11-16T11:32:00.004-06:00

OK, OK. I am really poor. I owe a lot on my credit card, and I have two past-due parking tickets. Yeah.

But.

I can't help obsessing over these Wolford merino wool tights. The Cadillac of hosiery, these babies are 50% wool. I don't know about you, but I'm having the darnedest time finding tights with any wool content at all. This is all part of my winter mantra this year, which is "stay warm."

(The other part of the mantra is "stay cute" which is a recurring theme when winter doldrums hit, but being cold makes me about as miserable as wearing dumpy warm clothing, so I guess they go hand in hand.)

I will say, part of my poverty is owing to this North Face ~~jacket~~ arctic parka I purchased, the cost of which was more than I've spent on a single item for myself since, oh, I bought my laptop. But-it is warm (see "mantra," above). The hood is amazing. Painful as my bank account is feeling, it was worth it. I'm sure by March it will have more than paid for itself.

wow.

2010-11-10T13:14:00.000-06:00

amazing bento lunches

as if I need help getting inspired to stuff food in my mouth.

autumn scents

2010-11-04T14:42:00.006-05:00

Well this seems to be the week when all the perfume blogs are rounding up their favorite scents of autumn, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.

First off, I will say that I've been trying to expand my taste levels and be more open-minded, and it's been paying off for the most part. I'm learning to appreciate things and see their beauty, while knowing I would never wear them, and making new, unexpected friends (friends? really? you know what i mean).

One such ~~friend~~ example is Etat Libre de Orange's "Putain des Palaces." You may remember my experience with another of their fragrances, "Like This," (the orangey-Tilda Swinton one). Like This is actually way more appropriate for fall, but I just can't get into it. It smells like food/baking, and that's nice, but that's not how I want to smell. Putain (the name actually means "Hotel Slut") is really lovely. I will admit that I got a sample because all the reviews talked about how SUPER SEXY it is, but I've come to realize that people (some people, somewhere) describe things as sexy about such a wide variety of things that I don't really know what it means anymore. Is sexy a big floral? Something dark and spicy? Vanilla and sweet? Who knows. I sure don't.

Anyways, Putain is actually really great. At the opening it reminded me of baby powder (not hot), but there's something about it. It's a veil, it's not loud, but it stays with you, and I continue to catch happy whiffs of it as the day goes on. It smells like skin. And yeah, it kinda does smell like sex, just like everyone seems to be saying. What can I say? But it's so high-class that I don't get "hotel slut" at all. This *might* be the first powdery floral that I purchase in my life. Just wait.

In a similar vein, there is Balmain's Ambre Gris, which I never really stopped liking from last fall. Another really classy scent. I thought this might be "THE ONE" last year (last spring? can't remember), but I never got around to buying it. The classiness comes with a hefty price tag on this one. Maybe for Christmas :)

P.S. DON'T YOU LOVE THE CAP?!?!?!

world wide noses

2010-10-29T22:29:00.006-05:00

sometimes the internet is a good thing. it allows a perfume junkie such as myself access to all sorts of little niche fragrance houses i wouldn't be able to sample where I live and blogs where people nerd out about them with each other. i love these little cyber-communities-they have their own lingo, cute little screen names...you really get a feel for people's personalities and hear about their lives all over the country through their comments and reviews. i love reading something and thinking "ME TOO!!!" and feeling like i have a connection with someone about something that people around me don't always empathize with.

what's a little sad is that these people are not live and in-person. however, everyone seems so far-flung, that i think having an online community for people to dig in about their passions is a good thing.

just sayin'.

2010-10-14T15:07:00.005-05:00

i've decided i have to grow up, be a big girl, and get a warm winter coat. even if it's not cute and vintage golden brocade or whatever. I'm done with getting cold all the time. But do i really have to go to Northface and spend $300 to look like a puffed-up...puffed up something?
I live in Minnesota. I need a winter coat, because lord knows i will be wearing it every day for a good three months straight.

2010-09-30T10:42:00.001-05:00

The Diary of a Disappointed Book from Studiocanoe on Vimeo.

2010-09-08T14:35:00.004-05:00

pretty sure I could just be happy if i had these boots. and i would have bought them by now, i mean *invested* in them, if I could decide-black or brown?

Pretty sure black is more practical for me, but the brown color is so beautiful. Sigh. Decisions, decisions.
Although for $300 maybe it's good I'm not running out to lay down my cash.

obligatory blog post

2010-08-26T15:30:00.009-05:00

argh, sorry have not been doing much blogging lately. my head is cloudy. I' m not feeling up to a coherent theme, so here's some shots of my current lust list.

although, come to think of it, wicker might not be such a wise choice for someone with a cat.$300, but hey, who's counting?

(p.s. really need some black boots for fall. My only black boots ((well, flat ones)) are Dr. Martens. And I just can't bring myself to put them on ever again. at least this year)also craving new jeans. i'm more concerned with the color than anything-i want a real, rich blue. even if it's faded. i'm feeling the 70s vibe on these ones. something slightly darker might be better for fall, though...
also craving cashmere. WAAAAY out of the question, but...it comes in Matisse Blue! I love Matisse! this soft sweater just seems like the perfect thing to pop on for a fall day.

which mad men character are you?

2010-08-13T13:24:00.004-05:00

took a silly little quiz, and it ended up more right than wrong:
*****
You are Betty Draper. Some call you cold, your response? "My people were Nordic." Cold or not, you are constantly getting hit on. You like the attention, as well as all the perks it brings: A handsome family, a beautiful house, and the envy of neighbors. Still, you're not exactly happy. You're confused and disappointed about the way things have turned out. But you've shown you have some fight in you, and you work hard to keep up appearances. How's therapy going?
*****
Like it or not, it's probably the character I identify with most. Unfortunately, she's not exactly the most mature character...I'd rather be Rachel Menken, I wonder if she was an option.
Quiz here

2010-08-12T11:20:00.004-05:00

oh, wait. you thought all i wanted for fall was that little dress? ha! think again!
kind of like modern Joan Holloway clothes, no? can't you see me typing in these, shaking hands with clients, taking notes? sigh... love.
(both Modcloth. Top: So Important Dress, $149.99. Bottom: Sweeter Sweater Dress, $59.99)

2010-08-10T15:43:00.006-05:00

Mad Men characters not in costume.

Still sexy as hell. Everyone seems to go ga-ga for Jon Hamm, but I think John Slattery looks like a pretty cool dude, with those glasses and all. Pete Campbell looks (slightly) less obnoxious in real life. I still can't stand his character. Ugh, he makes me cringe. But Roger, well, I could forgive Roger for doing just about anything.

2010-08-10T14:01:00.003-05:00

have been thinking about this dress that i tried on a few weeks ago. why, you ask, if i am still thinking about it, don't i just buy it? my friends, it is $128. it just hurts my heart a little to pay more than $80 for anything at all-shoes, coats, whatever.

also it shows a lot of cleavage.

but...it has sleeves, and it is damn hard to find a dress with sleeves, meaning, it is hard to find dresses you can wear in cooler weather.

and wouldn't it look cute in the fall?

a moment please

2010-08-04T15:32:00.001-05:00

for the cutest pet dish ever. some people are so clever! by alessi, of course.

2010-07-19T14:59:00.003-05:00

i've discovered the secret to shopping: wear something cute when you go. if you go shopping wearing shitty clothes that make you look fat and pale, you'll want to wear anything you can get your hands on. however, if you wear something cute, you'll try things on and say, "not as cute as what i'm wearing today," and save your dollars, or you'll say "this would look great with what i'm wearing today," and get something that will give more mileage to things you already own (rather than things that don't work with anything else in your closet).
why did it take me so long to figure this out?

dapper

2010-07-16T18:08:00.003-05:00

isn't this the most charming bottle of perfume you've ever encountered? i can't tell if it's meant for men or women, even after reading the description (and the reviews!). must be for dandies and preppy ladies with a wink in their eye.
oh, i'm such a sucker for stripes :P

josef frank

2010-07-15T14:20:00.004-05:00

have recently been reading a lot about josef frank, on the blogs, etc. and had never really known who the guy was, although had certainly seen and admired his stuff. then today's google thing looked suspiciously frank-esque. what the hell? thinks i. he's suddenly everywhere i look! and then when my mouse hovers i see the text, happy 125th birthday, josef frank!

ahhhhh.

(yes, that's supposed to say Google)

sadness

2010-07-14T11:42:00.002-05:00

the sexiest couple alive are now married and off the market. congrats, i guess.
back to work now, i swear.

pretty pictures

2010-07-13T12:44:00.004-05:00

Designsponge really outdid themselves recently, featuring an editorial of summer bouquets in vintage milkglass containers (which I ADORE), all in a casual picnic setting. Though I'm not hyperventilating as much now as I was when I first saw it, I still think the color combinations are unusual and creative. And I still want to have a picnic (but then, when *don't* I want to have a picnic?).

More by clicking here.

2010-07-08T11:54:00.002-05:00

L'Artisan Parfumeur

2010-06-29T21:56:00.005-05:00

The newest offering from L'Artisan is called "Nuit de Tubereuse."

Tuberose is one of those flowers you find *all the time* in big floral perfumes-the kind you can detect on your neighbor in the elevator. For some reason, when tuberose is involved, there's no taming it. It's just going to be big. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It's used all the time because it smells good-heady and feminine. It's just when it's done cheaply, and sprayed too much, that you get a headache and wish it would fall off the face of the earth.

Nuit de Tubereuse is one of the odder tuberose scents I've come across. Instead of going down the familiar routes: dense and jungly, or combining it with gardenia or a similar white flower, Nuit combines tuberose with drier elements, like sandalwood, rose, and clove. This underpinning is totally unexpected, but again, not necessarily a bad thing. There is a bit of fruit at the opening, making this perfume a real mix of elements that are usually kept separated-citruses, flowers, and woods/musks.

All in all, I appreciate the creativity here, but if I want tuberose, I think I just want tuberose. Even if it hits me over the head, that's what I go to it for. And if I want a powdery dry scent, I'll pick up Chanel or something. I'm not sure that trying to get two birds with one stone is really successful enough here.

I think the sample will do for now.

Etat Libre d'Orange: Like This

2010-06-29T21:37:00.005-05:00

So today's review is a really surprising scent, inspired by none other than actress Tilda Swinton.

Odd, you say? Well yes, it is. Tilda Swinton is not Halle Berry (ie, the type of celebrity that has perfumes). And the perfume is called "Like This," which takes its name from the last line of a Rumi poem, instead of "Sexy Island," or something like it that you would expect from a celebrity scent. And officially, notes include: mandarin, ginger, pumpkin, clove, neroli, heliotrope, and musk. (whaaaaa?pumpkin???)

Are you mystified? Well the common thread here is orange. Tilda Swinton has orange hair. Many of the ingredients are orange (neroli is orange blossom, pumpkin, mandarin, you get it). The perfume house's name literally translates to "the free state of Orange." And Rumi? Well...Rumi conjures images of sunsets and radiance, and the orange robes of Buddhist monks (ok, maybe a reach, bear with me).

So does this work? I would say yes. It smells yummy and comfortable, cozy enough for a fall day with leaves on the ground. It doesn't really fit in my life right now, however. I put it on with a sundress and it feels wrong. Scents like clove and pumpkin just don't feel right in June. But I am saving my mula, because this really weird scent is something I know I'm going to want to reach for in just a few (sadly) months. It's not a "Perfume," in the traditional, "I'm Wearing Perfume" way. I doubt it will make men lust for you, or inspire women to ask what you're wearing. Sexy and brash it is not. But it is refreshingly different. Like.

Sacrebleu!

2010-06-25T13:05:00.004-05:00

Today I have a headache, which is my excuse for not working. Apparently, headaches are a common side effect of the pill. Since I have not had any other side effects to speak of, I am not going to complain. Much.
After yesterday's somewhat blah sample, today I tried Parfums de Nicolai's Sacrebleu.This was somewhat more successful. The house was started by the daughter of a Guerlain or something, so it makes sense that it feels like an old-school Parisian perfume, a la Chanel or whathaveyou. Still, it doesn't feel old-lady, or overly powdery. Like a cute dress where you can't tell if it's vintage or a modern reproduction, it's got enough style that it could go either way. Apparently this was Catherine Deneuve's favorite for years. One thing I noticed was its staying power, which I noted when I smelled it in the shower (!) and when I caught another whiff when I was changing after I got out of the shower (!!). Points for that.
Overall, an intriguing scent. Maybe not my signature scent, but something I can appreciate and admire. And it comes in a little 30mL size, perfect for smaller budgets and fickle tastes :)

update: weird rotten fruit notes at the beginning. it's almost too much to bear. luckily, it doesn't last.

Les Nez, "Manoumalia"

2010-06-24T15:08:00.007-05:00

Sometimes, when you have a mountain of things you *could* be doing, it's good to take a break. Like right now.
This morning I was excited to open a little package that came in the mail with six little samples of perfumes I had never smelled. I'm pretty excited about all of them, and wanted to try them all at once, but that doesn't work, so I had to be patient, and just try one for today. The first? Les Nez's Manoumalia.

The name of this perfume reminds me of Animalia, the book of my childhood with amazing illustrations of all types of animals. I loved that book. So I was somewhat expecting a jungly scent, a kind of musky, animalic, sweaty smelling thing, but what I got was a different jungly scent-the scent of jungle flowers (which is OK by me). After a brief dance of citrus, Manoumalia settles down into a heady floral. An hour or so later, I thought I picked up some cinnamon or spice on my wrist, but now that I try again, I can't smell it at all. Probably because it's an Eau de Toilette, and thus, the lasting power is not super. It probably doesn't help that the spot I sprayed is exactly where my arms rest as I type. Boo.

All in all, Manoumalia reminds me a lot of my beloved Monyette, except that Monyette makes me smile with sunshiney happiness and Manoumalia is just a little less full of optimism. Like there's maybe just a little cloud in the tropical sky. At least that's what I imagine :)

*update: after another application, thought that I picked up some sandalwood/incense-y notes, which is kind of an interesting juxtaposition against the heavy floral bit, but the (lack of) lasting power makes it an out, unfortunately.

funny things on the internets

2010-05-25T12:49:00.002-05:00

via designsponge, in an article about home decor inspired by "The Darjeeling Limited":
"I want to take a spiritual quest through India on a train. I want a monogrammed set of louis vuitton luggage with little drawings of rhinos. I want to develop a rapport with Adrien Brody and by rapport I mean I want to have his babies."

small girl in the big city.

2010-05-06T13:26:00.003-05:00

i try to imagine the new york version of myself, and it's shifty. first i'm all like, i'm going to wear all black, and doc martens, and be a tough city chick. and then reality sets in, and i know that sometimes i like things like red shoes with bows on them. so when i saw these items, i thought they struck a good match between the two.

2010-05-03T21:21:00.003-05:00

it occurred to me today that part of the huge economic boom in the early 90s was the fact that women really held a big percentage of the workforce population. Being 50% of the population, that added income did a lot to boost the economic prowess of families like never before: there was no question that couples could achieve a fantasy way beyond that of their parents, simply because they had double (well, almost) the income. it then occurred to me that this won't happen again. there isn't a large percentage of the population left that can bolster us any more. the only thing left would be to grant legal status to everyone living here, thus giving them the benefit of a living (well, that's debatable) wage that will be spent in our industries and taxes that will go towards government programs (say what you will on that one).

why hasn't anyone really discussed the role of women and minorities in American economic history? am i way off base here?

sorry, just thinking...

i want a swimcap!

2010-04-21T15:38:00.001-05:00

2010-04-20T22:18:00.000-05:00

must. have.

2010-04-20T19:30:00.002-05:00

fantasy puerto rican swimwear

2010-04-12T22:52:00.000-05:00

2010-04-08T13:57:00.005-05:00

Dear God, how awesome is this pearl inlay chest? And why am i so in to pink lately?
Also, I would be really happy to own these vintage tea towels, for no other reason than that they are cute. Thanks, Santa.

Too bad this one was already sold. check out the angry little kitten at the top. lol

2010-04-05T14:15:00.003-05:00

did i tell you about my upcoming t-shirt line? after getting the tax ID, i finally got a wholesale log-in at alternative apparel to start checking out prices, and i think i can get them at around $5/shirt. So let's see, I think the highest I can sell a t-shirt is probably $28. Say the boutique keeps half. That leaves me with $14. Minus the cost of the shirt=$9 per shirt profit. There's also the small cost of labor and ink.

hmm...

on the other hand, if they sell well, i could sell them at other places, such as oh, i like you, robotlove, shoppe local, or whatever.

on a lighter note, i dug out all my summer clothes from the basement, and that was somewhat exciting...took my winter coats to the cleaner, and am looking forward to storing away:

wool scarves, socks, and sweaters

gloves, hats, and boots

extra blankets

my space heater

my ice scraper

whenever there is a production such as this, the cats are interested. piles of clothes on the bed? time to hide in them, or sleep on them. boxes you are unpacking? time to climb inside. i guess when you are confined to a small apartment, anything is an excuse for excitement and curiosity.

2010-03-31T11:41:00.002-05:00

today i applied for a federal tax number for a new project i am embarking on (tees! designed and printed by me!). i had to do this just to get pricing estimates, so once i know whether this is something i can make a profit on, i can get moving. i really enjoyed screenprinting in high school, so i am optimistic that this will be the next craft ~~that i will throw myself in to for awhile before burning out and tossing it aside~~ that i joyfully engage in.

2010-03-23T23:17:00.004-05:00

this little number caught my eye at the mall today. been really in to pink lately, am always in to seersucker stripes, and feeling the spring fever. would look great with all kinds of jewelry-fun earrings, fun necklaces, bracelets as shown above...would look great in puerto rico, on a bicycle, with a basketful of nico...

more pink:

mostly i just like swatch. i get a kick out of their stuff. see below.if you know me at all, you know that there are two items that I wear religiously. 365. one of these is a swatch watch. (the other is a particular ring that i don't have a picture for)

money money money

2010-03-15T16:16:00.003-05:00

how do i resist this?

MUSC RAVAGEUR.

Sensual and sophisticated. Powerful yet perfectly controlled. Dramatic and mysterious. MUSC RAVAGEUR is a grown-up perfume, an uncompromising Oriental, which trumps current fads. Its explosive departure of bergamot, tangerine and cinnamon is set against a lusty backdrop of vanilla, musk and amber. No flowers, just a refined and exalted skin scent.

*****

i've decided that the media is making me poor. i don't blame anyone in particular, it's just that the more time I spend doing pretty much anything with media-reading blogs, visiting websites, watching movies or tv, reading magazines-the more it makes me want to spend money. money that i probably don't need to be spending. i read responses from people waxing poetic about the latest frederic malle perfume ($250, only available at barneys ny), read garance's list of top ten closet necessities, and suddenly my closet, already spewing clothes I don't wear, looks bare, and I need to sniff that perfume and purchase that thing that I'm missing to make my wardrobe complete. it's sick. it makes me feel so vulnerable to persuasion. i guess i recognize that it's happening, but it's maddeningly easy to come up with excuses. what is this thing that I think i will achieve through buying things? some different life? one that is more secure/exotic/happy/luxurious/valuable? who is this person that i think i will be transformed into?

this internal struggle is a big part of why i have not been blogging so much. it's one thing to be a sort of outsider, a voyeur in this materialist lifestyle, but participating in it (embracing it, really) by adding more content and blogging about these things doesn't really feel right to me anymore. i want to find a balance, between the lifestyle of people like my mother, who have no use for perfume/cosmetics/stylish clothes at all, and my desire to explore beauty in all its forms, be it in terms of superficial adornment of the self or more outward forms, like flowers :)

i also struggle with the guilt...like, indulging in these habits is less destructive than being addicted to violence or something like that, so it's tempting to just absolve myself for these reasons. probably, moderation in all things is the ideal, and i think, in the end, if i worked more and had less opportunity to mull over these things, it wouldn't be an issue after all, and i would spend less time with media anyway, and the problem would solve itself.

whew!

2010-03-09T19:27:00.003-06:00

i want to live somewhere warm and spicy, where I can walk down cobblestone alleys in bright flats and poufy skirts, always have a glowing tan, see flowers blooming, encounter kitties in doorsteps, and go to the beach after work.
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/puerto-rico#video-ltv-37CA411F709A4EEB
AHHHH.

2010-03-08T17:53:00.004-06:00

OK, poodles, I think I'm adopting a new mantra:
Less is more.

I'm going to stop buying crap.

In fact, I'm only going to wear black or neutrals, and spend all my money on accessories and shoes, the things that trends affect and that I can change out easily.

Instead of three winter coats, I'm going to have one terribly chic black one.

Instead of jeans that don't really fit and sit in my drawers, I'm going to have one pair that really rock and wear them like every day. I say this because I bought a pair of jeans today, and they rock, and they were expensive. No clothes for the rest of March or April!

I'm missing some basics though-mostly in the white shirt department. I need a clean button-down, something a little frillier for nighttime, a boat-neck...

And I can always use more shoes ;)

2010-03-01T13:06:00.003-06:00

So losing my wallet has ~~forced~~ inspired me to think about ~~making do with~~ appreciating what I have. this was OK for a while-I enjoy purging closets and getting more use out of things, but my current economic state makes me hesitant to throw things out. at least now I think I'll be more careful about what I bring home with me.

still, there are like 10 pairs of shoes on my watch list.

this is not very focused. more later.

marchesa 2010

2010-02-18T18:19:00.013-06:00

well, folks, if i were a celebrity, this is what i'd wear to the red carpet. fucking gorge. If it wasn't such a hassle to upload photos, I'd show you the detail shots of the little stars in the tights, etc. but you'll have to do the detective work on your own, kids. sorry.

marchesa's clothes are not "challenging," really, but they have so much joy. yeah, they're pretty ruffly and froufy, but sometimes, when they're done this well, instead of being used to cover up lack of creativity, it's ok. i like the really intricate details and the amount of visual interest and texture. AND she sure can get a lot of mileage out of these elements, without having to shoot much color in there (first look, aside). when you can keep someone's attention through a collection of neutrals, i think that's the sign of a strong designer. (as soon as i write that, i think, well on the other hand, it takes a strong designer to use color well, too, and lack of color can signal a weakness in color capability, so I'm just going to stop.)

capsule review: great, red-carpet worthy eye candy.

Samples from Juliette Has a Gun

2010-02-13T11:32:00.005-06:00

Today I'll be discussing two samples from niche line "Juliette Has a Gun." First up, "Calamity J," inspired by Calamity Jane.

This was a very nice, very soft scent. So soft that I had trouble smelling much of it through the day. A little bit of vanilla did stay on my skin, but the other notes faded rather quickly. It's not a super girly scent. There's a little bit of iris, which is a great floral for people who hate florals, and some musc and patchouli, which give it a little bit of depth and sex appeal. There's a smokiness about it too which I liked. The thing about this brand is that it's EXPENSIVE. perfume is already expensive, usually around $100 for 100ml for the good stuff. Juliette Has a Gun is $105 for 50ml and $135 for 100ml. For something that fades so quickly, I can't justify this. I really liked this subtle scent, but I was kind of hoping for something more punchy and weird from this line, which seems to make such a big deal out of its names/packaging/descriptions. And I definitely won't be spending money on something I have to reapply every twenty minutes.

Why did I get a sample of Midnight Oud? This is not something I would typically wear, ever. Oud is perfume-speak for wood (as I understand it), and it definitely lives up to its name. I smell like a campfire. It's a little refreshing in its different-ness, in that it's so unisex (although this one is supposedly more feminine that Calamity J, according to the website), so sandalwoody. I am guessing this is owing to the rose note, which is there, but really just sort of in the background, a supporting player to the more incensey stars of the show. The copy talks about richness and heaviness, but I just am not getting that. I can smell this one more than Calamity J, but it never feels heavy at all. Some perfumes you spray on and you can be sure everyone around you can smell you, but with this perfume I get the sense that only I can smell me. Anyhow, an interesting thing that I'm glad I tried. It does grow on me, everytime I catch a whiff of it.

perfume sample #3: Balmain's Ambre Gris

2010-02-10T09:38:00.003-06:00

Oh, honey.

This might be it. I mean IT.

My pocket book is looking at me with eyes that say, please no, not now, I'm not ready. There might be some negotiations in order, because this...this is really beautiful. It's very me, it's everything I wanted all my current perfumes to be (but never quite were). It's warm, spicy, rich, mysterious...it's Ingrid Bergman looking up at you, but she has a hat on so you can only see one of her eyes (does that make sense?).
It's not the loudest girl in the room, but maybe the one who accidentally bumps in to you, and then you can't take your eyes off of her as she leaves.

Friends, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

perfume sample #2: Monyette Paris

2010-02-09T22:47:00.003-06:00

Today I tried Monyette Paris' EdP, which luckyscent gushes about, saying, "this isn’t just sexy, it’s “big night out” sexy. It’s “reel him in” sexy. " etc etc.
And i would have to agree for the most part. It's a big floral-simple, really likeable, happy. I normally go for something a little more unusual, a little less Florida cheerleader, but I can't really help myself with this one! It's so unabashedly girly and creamy, which I'm guessing is what makes it "sexy," although i've always thought sexy meant deep, bewitching oriental scents... who knows.
There are definitely enough reviews complaining about it being overhyped, too teenagey, too sweet, too generic. I see where they're coming from, but I can't really say. A little tiny part of me worries, if this were a perfume by Britney Spears, would I feel differently about it? Would i toss it in the garbage? I would like to think I'm getting a more sophisticated nose, but I really don't know. I suppose it really *shouldn't* matter what the label says, if it makes you happy (as this one did).
All in all, this is a really great, flirty, feminine perfume. I dig it.

Havana Vanille

2010-02-08T21:28:00.005-06:00

Today, I was a happy girl, because my little package (package-ette? package-ito? packagini?) came with perfume samples. The first one to try was L'Artisan Parfumeur's "Havana Vanille."
Let me tell you, it was pretty yummy. There were quite a lot of notes listed on the website, and comments about its grown-up, smoky vanilla aspect, but really all I got was vanilla, vanilla with a capital V (not that that's bad!). I decided to look up a review on this perfume blog that I poke around on sometimes, only to find her say this,
"It’s gourmand, even chewy, but there’s nothing even vaguely cake-like about it despite the heavy emphasis on the vanilla."
Ha. What is the first thing my boyfriend says when I offer my wrist? "Mmm! Cake!"
Lol.
Tomorrow will be Monyette Paris: a big, sexy floral (apparently).
Also, watched "Out of Africa," which won for Best Picture way back in '85. Meryl Streep is really lovely, and there was beautiful scenery, but I fail to see what the big deal is about Robert Redford.

savings

2010-02-07T17:47:00.003-06:00

so i've been thinking about starting another savings account...for shoes. :( this is slightly embarrassing, but shoes are really expensive, and I hardly ever buy them for this reason. it's way easier to fritter away dollars on other things. however, shoes are essential, and many a cute outfit has been ruined by lack of proper coordinating footwear. there are quite a few little guys on my short list, but at $50-150 a pop, I know they'll never come into my orbit unless i make an effort. thus, the new savings account, right? ... right?

flying around space in my head:

report peep-toes:
jeffrey campbell heels from urbn:
lucky brand "koko" woven platforms:

Valentine's Day

2010-01-31T20:33:00.007-06:00

Yes, there's a heart on my head. Valentine's Day is on my brain.

So I've been thinking about Valentine's posts recently, and the first thing that comes to mind is a house that epitomizes the holiday to me: Moschino (and Moschino Cheap & Chic). Based in Italy, the designer can be depended on to provide lots of hearts, cute prints, and bold colors (often mixing red, white, pink, and black-perfect!). Some key looks from their spring collections:

Lots of the glossies have been focusing on lingerie-based articles for their thin February issues. (February is already a depressing month, BTW, so why are ALL the magazines at their very thinnest, content-wise, during this month? Aren't magazines supposed to give us a little lift? Some inspiration, for goodness sake? But I digress...)

But back to the point-lingerie articles are just so obvious for February. Don't get me wrong, I love it (hell, I think they should have features on underpinnings every month), but couldn't the editors get a little more creative? Moschino, bless their hearts, makes Valentine's Day a year-round party of quirky cuteness. The clothes aren't serious, buy me dinner and roses romance, but light-hearted confections: cheeky, un-self-conscious, and fun...and isn't that more sexy anyway?

(why the goose? hell if i know.)

(is this a heart-on-my-sleeve reference? or are you supposed to unwrap her like a box of chocolates? who knows? who cares?)

(ruffly boobs are always romantic.)

is that a fortune cookie around her neck?

Oh, and what am I doing for Valentine's Day, you ask? Let's not even go there. (Here's a clue: it includes me working. BOOOOOO.) But you can be sure I'm going to doll it up, a la Moschino.

random stuff

2010-01-27T15:31:00.002-06:00

oh bunny!!!

ha.

omfg

2010-01-27T13:19:00.003-06:00

SO CUTE.
look at the buttons!
can someone lend me $115? k thanks.

2010-01-24T17:49:00.002-06:00

(eberjey slip)

so in anticipation of Valentine's Day, Nordstrom stepped it up and had some seriously delicious offerings in what it calls its "Lingerie Boutique" (otherwise known as the underwear department). Besides stopping to drool over, i mean, visit my favorite teddy (which i showed a picture of earlier), there were some really beautiful little red slips on hand (see above), a little crocheted nightgown (which i ended up rescuing from its hanger and taking home with me), and lots of other cute loungewear. True to classy Nordstrom style, there wasn't a lot of skanky (or even really sexy) stuff on show, but that's ok. Vicky's got that covered with two locations in the mall. almost picked up this hot pink Elle Macpherson bra, but it didn't *quite* fit, and they didn't have the next size available. ("We'll ship it to you for free!" they love to remind me, but, meh...)

Journey to the Moon by William Kentridge

2010-01-23T18:31:00.002-06:00

i heart william kentridge SOOOO much.

sueno de sol

2010-01-21T14:41:00.005-06:00

The blogs are all a-buzz about swimwear, and though I'm not *planning* on going on spring break, I'm happy to oblige in some wishful shopping fantasies.
I would also like to add that in my opinion, swimwear is the perfect opportunity to wear really fun prints and patterns that would be too loud or silly for an entire piece of clothing. In fact, I think solid-colored swimwear should be illegal. It just looks sad. And boring. Swimwear should be sassy and splashy, whether you're in Rio or at the lake up at your cabin. PRINTS! PRINTS! PRINTS!
(top: j.crew, all others, anthro)
PRINTS!

2010-01-19T14:59:00.001-06:00

http://saipua.blogspot.com/2010/01/brace.html